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Malice in Blunderland Dept.
Once more, it's election year...and once more, we're in for the rhetoric and the promises and the never-ending speeches and comments and interviews. In other words, we're in for...

Election Year Jabberwocky

Frank Jacobs

Walter Cronkite
'Twas '80, and the Carter Bush
Did Kennedy the Brown campaign;
All Reagan was the Baker push,
And Connally did Crane.

Jimmy Carter
Inflation must be trebulized;
We dare not wivvet, dwirt, or zeer;
When teckled smorts ask, "Will you glortz?"
Our answer should be clear.

George Bush
The Middle East defloins with dridd,
With OPEC steeching day by day;
Unsneezed, we'll dworp Khomeini's norp,
Despite what others say.

Ted Kennedy
What price atomic bandersnatch
When frangled by the smiggy grote?
I say, "Let's gorch with no more slorch";
This statement you may quote.

Jerry Brown
It's time we sneckled energy;
Our gribbish freems won't vleet away;
As Lincoln said, "To glinch is ned;"
It still makes sense today.

Ronald Reagan
I duzzlekate most lomishly
With those who zunk this nurgled land;
To them I say, "The gleek will snay!"
You'd think they'd understand.

Howard Baker
Grave questions glip us as we streep;
Will Brezhnez jub the frammissoo?
Will Arabs grot and snurb Sadat?
I'll leave it up to you.

John Connally
To ablovate the Soviets
Seems noggled breep, a greemish task;
What's nurg with SALT? It's smung with gralt!
I thought you'd never ask.

Philip Crane
What glop defense when cities snerve,
When farmers driddle wiffishly;
Our unemployed are sneep and floyed;
On this we all agree.

Alfred E. Neuman
And when the final gleek was flort,
Just two remained to zorch and vame,
Which makes no diff'rence anyhow,
'Cause each one sounds the same!

"Election Year Jabberwocky" published in MAD Magazine, Number 216, July 1980.

© Copyright 1980 by E. C. Publications, Inc.

The issue in which this parody appeared was published in the middle of the campaign period for the 1980 U. S. Presidential election. In the accompanying illustration (by Angelo Torres), each of the 8 final contenders (from both the Democrat and Republican parties; they were running for their parties' nomination as Presidential candidate) spoke one of the middle verses, with TV journalist Cronkite introducing and MAD mascot Alfred E. Neuman closing the poem.


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