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The Derivative

francis j menotti

'Twas boring, and his lofty gaze
did nod and waver from its task.
Although he had been in a daze,
his daydream he did mask.

"Beware derivatives, students!
The functions, primes, and asymptotes.
Beware all calculus and hence
refrain from taking notes."

He took his purple pen in hand,
long poem his wand'ring mind did write.
So scribbled he his words to be:
indeed a worthy sight!

But though a worthy sight it seemed,
reality, with wrath unfurled
came flailing back--its strength redeemed--
while confidence it hurled.

One, two! One, two! The numbers grew.
The purple ink went splitter-splat.
And through his head, the numbers sped
as patiently he sat.

"Well, have you solved the problem yet?
Come to the board, you number-sleuth!"
Once satisfied, professor sighed,
"You're wise despite your youth."

'Twas boring, and his lofty gaze
did nod and waver from its task.
Although he had been in a daze,
his daydream he did mask.


francis j menotti (fjm111@psu.edu) writes:

With thanks, apologies, and admiration to Lewis Carroll. I came up with it during my first semester calculus class here at Penn State University. (I was pretty damn bored: easy class.)


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